Hey, I won!!! (And you did too).
I was named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year."
And I even beat out North Korean dictator Kim Jong "Mentally" Il.
Aren't you proud?
I never thought I would aspire to such lofty heights. Never again am I just another average Joe out of millions.
This one is going on my resume!
UPDATE: Everyone is utterly slamming Time for its choice. Here's one example.