I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.Ever since the Washington Post published an article with that excerpt, the article's comment section, the Internet and talk radio has been crowing about Crow's crazy idea.
But if this proposal becomes a reality, choosing the right kind of toilet paper will become a very important matter to the millions who shop the toilet paper aisle on behalf of their household.
Now I know this blog normally talks about Christianity, but hey, I live in the real world too, just like you. And in my household, I'm the one who does the grocery shopping. And so consequently, I'm the one who makes that soon-to-be-all-the-more-important choice of what kind of toilet paper gets used by my family.
Have you ever taken a look at all the toilet paper choices available to you?
The first decision to make is this: single ply or two ply? Then, there's the choice concerning thickness. The cheap single ply is thin, but the more expensive single ply are thicker. Now even though a square of toilet paper might have some density to it, that doesn't necessarily mean its soft. So that's another choice you have to take into account. Then, there's those single and double ply rolls that have impressions stamped into them. For example, our church bought from the janitorial supply company a single ply paper called, "Roses" (What a nice term for TP). If you look at the paper, it has roses stamped into it (Seems like the rougher toilet papers do that to make the paper feel softer and thicker in your hand). Oh, that raises a question: Scented or unscented? Or, how about aloe? Then, there's the choice of how many squares you want per roll. Some toilet paper is advertised as a "double roll." It's just more squares (or total square feet) per roll. Then, you have to decide how many rolls you want to buy--4, 8, 16, 24, 32? Those big packages always take up too much space in the shopping cart. Of course another important choice when choosing toilet paper is the price. And oh, finally, there's the brand. Generic or major brand? And if you really want to get scientific, you need to also take into account the paper's absorbency and strength.
Fortunately, Good Housekeeping's dedicated scientists has thoroughly researched which toilet paper is best and the results are available right here.
As you can see, choosing the right toilet paper, so you make the most of your one square, is a very, very big decision.
I've uncovered a very dangerous threat to global warming. This has got to stop!