Conversation with a Bottle of Cologne

With Valentine's Day just a few hours away, I had a conversation this morning with a box of aftershave lotion that I found sitting in my bathroom medicine cabinet:

Sex appeal.

"OK, you've got my attention."

Now you don't have to be born with it.

"Hmmm, it was my mother-in-law that gave me this cologne at Christmas. Was she trying to tell me something?"

This provocative, stimulating blend of rare spices and herbs

"I guess the 'rare' part explains why it's available at Wal-Mart."

was created by man for the sole purpose of attracting a woman. At will.

"And this stuff isn't kept behind the store counter, under lock and key?"

Splash it on. The more you use, the better.

"Kind of like honey, huh? If a little is good, more is a much, much better."

Because it is truly sex appeal (and man can never have too much).

"When the Board of Directors laughed, the marketing department knew they're script was a hit."

Sex appeal by Jovan. For the first time in the history of the world...We bottled it.

"Oh you silly mad scientists! Fooling with the world's equilibrium. Shame on you!"